The shopping and gifts, the food, the friends and family gatherings are all part of this time between Thanksgiving and the New Year that we call the Holiday Season!
THE BAD NEWS AND THE GOOD NEWS
These can also often be the very same things that distress us about the season! The holiday experience can be filled with frustration, anger, loneliness and depression."It's those PEOPLE!" The things that they say or do, are so disturbing! Sometimes we may even be disturbed by the things they DON'T say or do. Either way, the "reason for the season" is sometimes forgotten!
In an instant, we know just how "they" should be behaving vs. how "they" ARE behaving!
"They" are the reason we are upset! "They" robbed us of our peace!
THE BAD NEWS: We are mistaken about being robbed! We give away our peace!
THE GOOD NEWS: If we can choose to give it away, we have the power to make a different choice!
Our difficulty emanates from the fact that we think we have enough information about people and situations to know what is best!
MEET THE FAMILY
I knew a woman that most considered, hard to be around! This was my judgment also. She was the kind of person that made you want to go the other way when she moved in your direction.For just a moment, let's examine my thinking and behavior! I was not simply observing her behavior. I took it another step farther! I judged that she was "many things, not good"!
Eventually, I got to know her father. This woman became a completely different person to me! Her father was a driven man, driven in ways that made his daughter's demeanor completely understandable!
Of course, I now had judgments about HIM, instead of her. To me, he seemed to be a pathological tyrant! Eventually, I learned a little about this man's history with his parents! Just as his daughter had transformed, in my eyes, he also no longer looked the same! It occurred to me in a moment, that his parents also had parents who I knew NOTHING about! I had to let go of my judgment of them ALL because I really did not have enough information to make one!
We encounter persons or situations about which we have a strong opinion. We are not simply observing the facts any more. We have judged what is BAD and what is GOOD about the person or situation. We cannot know the complete past; we only know a small corner of the present and we know none of the future!
We are upset, and our peace departs, just because we think we know enough to JUDGE!
A SMALL DOUBT
I invite all of us to have a small doubt about '"knowing". Take a deep breath! Let's give ourselves a moment of doubt that we know enough to JUDGE.Consider this idea: Each judgment is a direct means of defining our differences. It is also, therefor, evidence of our isolation! I am suggesting that our judgments foster feelings of being disconnected from life and the people we meet in it. It feels good to judge, but so does scratching the scab on a sore! Perhaps this small doubt can assist us in resisting the urge to judge!!
"When your peace is threatened or disturbed in any way, say to yourself,
I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now."
A Course in Miracles 14:XI.6.6-9
Stop!
Take a deep breath!
RECOVER YOUR PEACE!
After peace has returned, we might even choose the option to go still further! We may choose to respond to the person or situation with an open and honest curiosity! How much do we really know about this person? Try taking an interest! In my experience, it is remarkable how approachable a person or situation becomes when we are at peace!Can we interrupt judgment and there-by discover the possibility of a connection instead of a justification for isolation!
If we are willing to have this small doubt, we may discover that there is much more power in ASKING and LISTENING than there is in "KNOWING" and JUDGING!
Have a wonderful holiday season and don't give away your Peace!
Wonderful post! There's a lot here to digest and I cosign to it all. Happy New Year!
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